Civility

Civility At Work: 20 Ways to Build a Kinder Workplace

People who get along at work get more done and have more fun – and who doesn’t want that, right? So scan this list, share it with colleagues, and bring it to life. 1. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. There’s no substitute for authentic communication. 2. Be less inclined to give advice – and more inclined to seek it. 3. Resist the urge to jump to conclusions about people and their motives. Go to the source, get the facts, and then decide. 4. Identify the biggest redeeming quality of that person who’s always driving you crazy. Keep it in mind the next time the two of you interact. 5. When greeting a colleague, skip the mindless how-ya-doin’. Ask a question that shows genuine interest. 6. Go out of your way to say thank you. Sincere appreciation is powerful stuff – it’s feedback, recognition, and respect all wrapped in one. 7. If you’re overdue in showing gratitude, make up for lost time. Contact everyone who’s owed thanks, and let them know how much you appreciate their help. 8. When credit and compliments come your way, spread them to all who helped. If you think you’re solely responsible for that honored achievement, think again. 9. Promise only what you can deliver. If what you deliver falls short, explain why. 10. When things go wrong, resist the urge to assign blame. It’s the system that usually fails, so fix the system, not the people. 11. Widen your social circle. If you always go to lunch with the same group, invite someone new. 12. Give a gift for no reason. If you work with nature lovers, order some plants or flowers. If the group has a chronic sweet tooth, get a few candy dishes and keep them full. 13. When a rumor reaches your ear, let it go out the other. 14. Step down from the treadmill of daily tasks and have an inefficient chat with a colleague. If it’s someone you rarely engage in conversation, all the better. 15. Show interest in someone else’s interests. Okay, maybe you’re not dying to hear about Pat’s passion for stamp collecting, but Pat will be thrilled you asked. 16. When you take a stand and later realize it’s the wrong stand, be honest enough to say so. 17. Involve more people in weighing options and making decisions. There’s incredible brainpower all...

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An in-your-face experience with differences

It’s not easy being a manager, especially when the road of good intentions is pitted with potential potholes. Here are ten of the biggest along with advice on how to steer clear: When I launched my first full-time business in 1991, I brought a lot to the table: two recently written books, solid experience, a Duke University MBA. There was just one big in-my-face problem: I looked about half my age.If you’ve ever watched those TV reruns of The Andy Griffith Show from the 1960s, you’re familiar with little Opie Taylor. That’s pretty much how I looked — but at age 28. The Opie Syndrome had me in its clutches. In all of my first meetings with would-be clients, I kept getting the same question: “When did you say you graduated?” People stopped just short of asking for my birth certificate. So I decided to do what Opie never could. I grew a moustache and beard, hoping that some well-tended whiskers would make a difference. And they did! People stopped asking my age, and new sales began to sprout. Then I paid a sales visit to someone I’ll call Mr. Smith. He owned a company that trained salespeople, so I was literally selling to an expert on selling. Two minutes into our meeting, the no-nonsense Mr. Smith leaned toward me and locked his gaze onto the lower half of my face. His stare lasted so long that I began thinking he had spotted an errant Rice Krispie or a shelter-seeking bug. Then his trance broke. He eased back, took a deep breath, and declared: “Shave that thing off. You’ll sell more.” He said it with such conviction that I almost asked for a razor right then and there. But as I drove away, my reaction got more complicated. I could see the humor in our encounter, but I also saw the serious side. People talk a lot about valuing differences, yet here I was being told to shave mine off. To vent, I wrote a guest column about diversity for the Cincinnati Enquirer. It told my story of growing the beard and getting pressured to stick with the 90 percent of clean-shaven American males. The article ended with a question: What’s it like to have a prominent difference that can’t be shaved off? Many people answered, calling and writing to tell me about the challenges brought on by their...

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The 12 rules of lasting success

These “simple” rules can take a lifetime to master, but they’re well worth the effort. Make them your daily operating procedure and watch the success unfold. START THE DAY RIGHT. Figure out what puts you in a positive frame of mind, and make it your morning ritual. EXPECT GOOD THINGS. Keep that glass half full by choosing faith and hope over cynicism and skepticism. TAKE TIME TO BE AWED. Look through the lens of appreciation and see all that is going right in your workplace. LIVE A MISSION. When completing those everyday tasks and projects, see how they contribute to a greater good. DELIVER EXCELLENCE. Every job involves service to someone, so serve them well by setting a high standard every day. MAKE PLENTY OF FRIENDS. Every workplace is its own community, so reach across the fence, meet your neighbors, and build your network. SHOW UP ON TIME. Lower your stress and boost your reputation by being reliably prompt. BE INCLINED TO SAY YES. When requests, offers, and invitations come your way, look for every reason to accept. EXERCISE YOUR STRENGTHS. You’re good at many things, and you’ll get even better by putting those strengths to work. SEEK OPPORTUNITY IN ADVERSITY. When times get tough, search the situation for something to learn or some other way to benefit. FIND THE RIGHT BALANCE. Enjoy solitude and social time, work and play, activity and rest, indoors and outdoors…all in the same day…in measures that bring you fulfillment. LEARN SOMETHING EVERY DAY. As the sun sets, reflect on your day and identity one discovery you can put to work tomorrow. By Tom Terez •...

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