An in-your-face experience with differences
It’s not easy being a manager, especially when the road of good intentions is pitted with potential potholes. Here are ten of the biggest along with advice on how to steer clear: When I launched my first full-time business in 1991, I brought a lot to the table: two recently written books, solid experience, a Duke University MBA. There was just one big in-my-face problem: I looked about half my age.If you’ve ever watched those TV reruns of The Andy Griffith Show from the 1960s, you’re familiar with little Opie Taylor. That’s pretty much how I looked — but at age 28. The Opie Syndrome had me in its clutches. In all of my first meetings with would-be clients, I kept getting the same question: “When did you say you graduated?” People stopped just short of asking for my birth certificate. So I decided to do what Opie never could. I grew a moustache and beard, hoping that some well-tended whiskers would make a difference. And they did! People stopped asking my age, and new sales began to sprout. Then I paid a sales visit to someone I’ll call Mr. Smith. He owned a company that trained salespeople, so I was literally selling to an expert on selling. Two minutes into our meeting, the no-nonsense Mr. Smith leaned toward me and locked his gaze onto the lower half of my face. His stare lasted so long that I began thinking he had spotted an errant Rice Krispie or a shelter-seeking bug. Then his trance broke. He eased back, took a deep breath, and declared: “Shave that thing off. You’ll sell more.” He said it with such conviction that I almost asked for a razor right then and there. But as I drove away, my reaction got more complicated. I could see the humor in our encounter, but I also saw the serious side. People talk a lot about valuing differences, yet here I was being told to shave mine off. To vent, I wrote a guest column about diversity for the Cincinnati Enquirer. It told my story of growing the beard and getting pressured to stick with the 90 percent of clean-shaven American males. The article ended with a question: What’s it like to have a prominent difference that can’t be shaved off? Many people answered, calling and writing to tell me about the challenges brought on by their...
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